In this episode Robert and Chayse have a riveting chat about negotiation. They share some lessons and failures from the past few weeks in their lives and talk about how the tips they learned in "Never Split the Difference" made... a difference. While not yet negotiation masters, they praise the work of Chris Voss and his book. Listen or read here to get a rundown of things you need to know about negotiation before the next time you interview for a job, buy a car, or decide which restaurant to eat at.
Robert and Chayse both loved this book. They felt like it was extremely worth the time to read/listen to no matter your lot in life. Here is the breakdown of the scores they gave:
Both of the guys couldn't shut up about the stories in this book. They agreed that it was the driving force in the book, the thing that keeps you turning pages while the golden "knowledge nuggets" work their way into your head between chapters.
Chris Voss has a knack for laying out a tense scene, making sure you have the context and background you need to appreciate the gravity of each situation. Hostage negotiation is no joke, how lucky we are that we most of us will never have to negotiate anything at that level.
Chayse highlighted that despite the intensity and extremity of the FBI negotiations in the book, the stories were what grounded the book for him. They were what gave a solid foundation for thoughts to take hold like, "Ok, if that worked for a crazy terrorist, it might work when I have to negotiate a raise"
Not only is Chris Voss an ex FBI agent, he still teaches people every day about negotiation. Robert highlighted that he has a balance of high stress and low stakes negotiation experience to share with us all. Chris also runs a negotiation consulting agency so let's be real, who better than him to learn from on this topic.
The tips and tricks that Chris gives is his book are so logical and usable. Nothing is overcomplicated or obfuscated. It's as simple as him saying, "mirror what the other person says back to them when they say something" or, "say to them it seems like BLANK is how you feel". One of our favorites takeaways is to acknowledge that emotion is the key player in all negotiation.
Empathy is key to all successful negotiation. Chris does a fantastic job of describing the role of empathy in negotiation and the "why" to why we should Never Split the Difference.
When people feel listened to, people start listening to themselves. This is one of the main ways you can help people convince themselves of what you want them to think.
Asking the right question at the right moment can help people see why what you are saying is correct. Using the words "how" and "what" at the beginning of your questions instead of the dreaded "why" will help you get there quicker. "Why" always leads to people feeling unheard and blamed.
Chayse talked about some personal stories with negotiation. He is in the process of selling his things so he and his wife can move across the country. He mentioned that when he was selling his car he ended up splitting the difference a little bit.. a shame, but he learned a lot. He learned that this stuff about negotiation is deceivingly simple, however doable.
Robert shared an awesome example from his job where he used the line, "How do you expect me to do that" to help his old boss see that a new responsibility would not fit in with his current ones. It worked like a charm and was a great piece of evidence for what Chris has to say in his book.
This definitely lands it self as one you have to read! If you have any kind of negotiation coming up in the next few weeks/months, read this ASAP. Otherwise, put it on your list and make sure you get to it soon.
Our next book is going to be "Thirst: A Story of Redemption, Compassion, and a Mission to Bring Clean Water to the World"
Here is the back of the book from Amazon:
"At 28 years old, Scott Harrison had it all. A top nightclub promoter in New York City, his life was an endless cycle of drugs, booze, models—repeat. But 10 years in, desperately unhappy and morally bankrupt, he asked himself, "What would the exact opposite of my life look like?" Walking away from everything, Harrison spent the next 16 months on a hospital ship in West Africa and discovered his true calling. In 2006, with no money and less than no experience, Harrison founded charity: water. Today, his organization has raised over $400 million to bring clean drinking water to more than 10 million people around the globe.
Thirst - Amazon.com
In Thirst, Harrison recounts the twists and turns that built charity: water into one of the most trusted and admired nonprofits in the world. Renowned for its 100% donation model, bold storytelling, imaginative branding, and radical commitment to transparency, charity: water has disrupted how social entrepreneurs work while inspiring millions of people to join its mission of bringing clean water to everyone on the planet within our lifetime.
In the tradition of such bestselling books as Shoe Dog and Mountains Beyond Mountains, Thirst is a riveting account of how to build a better charity, a better business, a better life—and a gritty tale that proves it’s never too late to make a change.
100% of the author’s net proceeds from Thirst will go to fund charity: water projects around the world."
We hope you'll join us in reading this next book! Check us out on our socials and make sure you sign up to join the club with the button at the top of the website!
